


Vas (Relief)

by akford



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Curiosity, I think I write angst better than anything else I try, M/M, Porn With Plot, Sex, sexual maturation, so this definitely falls under the category of, spock's pov is definitely more my style but this is both, the underage stuff is not explicit, this is angsty, using sex as a way to ease tension, using sex as a way to feel connected
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 23:42:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20434436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akford/pseuds/akford
Summary: Spock feels like he's failed as a Vulcan when he realizes that his sexual maturation is much more attuned to Human anatomy than Vulcan, and as a result he tries to emulate Vulcan sexual habits.-Jim is always so cold. Except during sex. He feels a little warmer then.-In which our two favorite Space Boys explore sexual release as a means to fulfilling parts of their lives they think are empty, and eventually the Space Boys become Space Men, still doing the same old things with the same old results... until our Space Men meet.





	Vas (Relief)

**Author's Note:**

> So I posted this once last year, but I ended up taking it down because I felt frustrated that I couldn't figure out where to go from the second chapter, and I didn't want to leave something up that wasn't already finished... but I've decided that I really like this idea for a story, and so fuck it, I'm gonna put it up and let other people read it, and maybe if other people like it that kind of encouragement will encourage me to write more. I'm already writing more, but I'm not really a writer as much as I am an artist, but I love storytelling so whatever I'm gonna try this. 
> 
> I don't have a beta, so I might read through and edit occasionally, post another chapter and edit that, but if that's my process then that's my process and it's better to me than not writing at all... because I really want to get better! Anyways, I hope you guys are okay with something not being finished!

_Vulcan - Stardate 2246_

Kov rolled his nude body off of Spock's and laid beside him so that they were both on their backs, looking up at the ceiling. They panted lightly after the exertion, the sounds not loud enough to fill the empty air in the room. Spock’s bed coverings, usually unobtrusive on his senses, felt uncomfortably irritating on his skin, and smelled too much of sex. Spock stared up at the ceiling, waiting for Kov to rise and dress. As usual, Kov lingered.

“Why do you remain after intercourse?” Spock asked. His question was borne of mild irritation, illogical though it was, but borne also out of curiosity. Spock felt Kov’s body stiffen minutely, the half of the bed that he occupied becoming still as his breaths slowed. He was silent for a moment, and then-

“It is healthy to rest after cardiovascular exercise in order to return the system to its normal stasis,” Kov said matter of factly. Spock turned his head a fraction, fighting the need to imitate a facial expression he had seen his mother make countless times when his father had deliberately misunderstood her question. The shame of wanting to make a facial expression at all brought him back from the temptation. 

He watched Kov’s light eyes stare unblinkingly up at the ceiling, his uncommonly-curly brown hair untamed against the gray pillow case. His features were aesthetically pleasing according to his classmates. Indeed, they were pleasing to Spock. “Additionally, I find that I derive comfort from sharing your presence for prolonged periods of time.”

Spock corrected the line of his spine, facing once more upwards and settling his gaze on the ceiling. He could not say that he shared the perception, not because he did not, but because he would not. He did not wish to humanize himself any more by admitting to his emotional weaknesses, where Kov’s weaknesses were biochemical in nature; a product of his Vulcan physiology and not his true ‘feelings.’ Spock said nothing.

In school, young Vulcan males were taught that their reproductive cycles were controlled by biochemical urges released in the amygdala sporadically through their early lives, until finally settling into the adults’ seven-year cycle in their third decade of life. In these teenage years, as their cycle was sporadic, they would experience stronger emotions and likely spend some of their time out of school in order to protect themselves from public disgrace. Spock was unsure how his own cycle might settle. Being half human he had not known if his experience was the same as his peers, or if it was singular. 

Spock had asked for a private audience with the professor, his cheeks warm and certainly tinted shamefully green. When asked, the sexual education teacher that had visited their class looked momentarily taken aback by the question. The older Vulcan explained that there is a biochemical urge in male Vulcan’s brains that encourages them to seek a warm body, join with another; a pale shadow in comparison to the intense urges that would come during Pon Farr. But Spock had not noticed his brain's chemicals exhibit any imbalances, even though his classmates had been discussing it quietly for the past several months. He expressed this, and the professor commented on Spock’s unique biology, somehow making the words sting though his face was expressionless.

Even now, Spock did not feel any hormonal change in his brain, not to the extent of what was normal for a Vulcan male his age. He did feel sexual urges, but he felt that they were not of the same caliber as his classmates’, who often had periods of one-to-two days where they had to take their classes at home because they could not contain their baser urges, emotions running rampant, uncontrolled. After the unhelpful conversation with the visiting professor, Spock had taken it upon himself to research human male sexual maturation.

The search had yielded interesting results. Spock learned about the process of human male sexual activity in their early years. Terran males experienced a need similar to Vulcan males, but as expected, not to the same extent, not as powerful and uncontrollable. He continued to explore the articles and sites, watching every holovid attached. Spock had looked at the anatomical illustrations and felt himself harden. He had been illogically embarrassed at the time, but, he did not stop.

In the name of science, Spock had slipped his hand beneath the waistband of his trousers and touched himself, looking at the illustrations of human males’ anatomy in sexual heat. One article talked about the Terran male practice of masturbation, and Spock found himself replicating the movements demonstrated in the illustrations; moving his hand up and down his length, pleasure seeping into his veins at the friction. 

Spock began a small project of his own, exploring the unique mixture of his heritage by watching vids on less than reputable Terran sites. Terran males his age, timidly exploring each others bodies, and then Terran males older than Spock, decidedly less timid. While Spock conducted this research, he felt his own urges gaining fire, watching the rough behavior of strong Terran men pounding into their mates from behind.

After a time, Spock felt consumed with thoughts of fornication. He never felt his control slipping because of this arousal, never felt the need to abstain from attending classes. He only imagined the soft and pliant flesh of a Terran beneath him, so unlike the lean Vulcan bodies he saw everyday, the rounded, pink cartilage of Terran ears, the red erections of Terran males, leaking and bobbing. 

Yes, he was not the same as his peers, and they made sure he was aware. He felt shame at the acknowledgement that others knew he was not as Vulcan as they. They noticed he did not skip school, he did not experience what it was they experienced. It was unacceptable to be less than Vulcan.

Abruptly, he’d decided it would be best to discontinue his research project. He ceased to engage in self-stimulation, shut down illogical fantasizing of human anatomy. He put away all thoughts and knowledge of human male sexual maturation, and he focused only on his Vulcan heritage.

He took notice of other habits he had that were slightly more human; his lax posture, no doubt a trait he learned from his mother relaxing in their home; his mind's propensity to wander off task and become excited when presented with interesting findings; his custom of engaging his mother in small gestures of affection, like small hugs to her side that she had insisted on ever since he could remember. 

In order to ameliorate his unacceptable behaviors, he made note of his posture constantly, reprimanded himself for his excitation in his science classes while none of his classmates showed the same attitude (because of course they did not, they were _Vulcan_), and he ignored his Mother’s hurt looks those first few instances he refused to reciprocate her embraces.

Two years later, he was paired with Kov for a vigorous research project in his sciences class. Kov was aesthetically very intriguing, his unusual features an interesting deviation from most Vulcan norms. Spock ignored them for the most part, deciding he would not allow himself to be intrigued. But it seemed that Kov was also intrigued by Spock. Kov walked with Spock for a short time after their class, and initiated an offer to visit Spock’s house with the intension of working on their project. 

When Kov did arrive, they worked only for a short time on their assignment, as Kov was slightly distracted. Why became immediately known as Kov had stood from his position on a kitchen chair, a bulge tenting his pants, and a question of whether Spock would be interested in pursuing sexual congress at that time. Spock decided he was amenable to the suggestion and they had walked to Spock’s room and shut the door. 

They had been regularly copulating for 3.38 months now. As Spock looked up at the beige ceiling tiles, he wished Kov would go. Spock could not allow himself to enjoy Kov’s presence. It was too emotional an urge, and if he gave in to more than the physical urges, he was not a satisfactory Vulcan. Spock dressed and entered his bathroom in order to gain some distance, feigning necessary ablutions to his person. Finally, from the doorway, Spock spoke.

“I do not share the sentiment,” he said, surprised at the bite in his voice. The bitterness was a result of his shameful attitude toward his own actions, and he had not meant for it to express itself in his statement. The other boy made no sign of having heard the barb.

Kov did not stay long after that. He dressed and left Spock's room, presumably exiting his residence shortly after. 

3

_Terra - Stardate 2247_

Jim watched Hanna from his bed. The sheets were cold on his skin and he shivered beneath them. The muscles in Hanna's back contracted and rippled as she put her white tank top back on over her head. Her short dark hair bobbed around her shoulders and she turned back towards him, looking for her jeans which were at the foot of the bed.

“I don't know what to tell you,” she said, grabbing the pants and slipping each foot into its respective pant leg. “You're just kinda... young. It'd be weird.”

Jim rolled his eyes and threw his head back on his pillow, the taste of her still on his tastebuds. “Not too young to fuck, though,” he said, smacking his tongue on the roof of his mouth. Hanna looked over at him then, the belt buckle she was fastening forgotten. The senior girl's eyebrows darkened briefly, and then she made a small, abortive shrug. 

“Bye, Jim,” she said, clearly expecting some kind of response. Jim turned over to face the window, bright light reflecting in from the snow outside. He ignored her until she huffed and walked out of his bedroom. 

They all wanted to fuck him, but god forbid they stay to keep him warm for an hour or two. 

The house he lived in was big, empty. His mom never came home anymore, and Sam left a year ago. He probably didn’t even tell her, like he didn’t tell Jim. Just left a note. And with Frank gone two years ago, there wasn’t even any yelling to fill the air. The whole house was stale and creaky, and he hated being here. It felt better with someone else in the house, in his room, sharing his bed. But only for a little while.

None of the girls his age were having sex yet, but the older girls thought Jim was charming, and maybe a little bit tall for fourteen. He brought them home to his house, empty as it was, and they fucked. But that was it. Jim supposed he wasn't sure he was looking for anything more than that.

He just hated being cold. And it felt so cold after they left.

Jim learned quickly enough not to expect much from sex. It was a good way to have fun, and what else was there to do in boring old Iowa? Not a whole lot. Basically you could sleep around or sleep. They weren't particularly exciting options, but Jim had experienced life off-planet once and he decided he'd much rather be bored in sleepy Riverside than stowed away on some cargo ship to see where it took him. 

He probably knew, deep down, that expecting a girl, sometimes even a guy, to come into his house and make it feel less empty, feel a little livelier, he probably knew that it was useless. Deep down, even if he couldn’t admit it to himself, he probably knew that no one who came into that house could make it feel warm.

But deep down was a lot of digging and Jim’s shovel was working the opposite way, burying everything tender inside him further under dust. He kept pursuing those hot bodies, bringing them up the stairs, into his room, and when they left, the physical exercise kept his skin flushed but it couldn’t change the fact that he was always cold.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! If you have any comments, constructive criticism, or want to start up a conversation on musicals, feel free! I'm on here often and will reply!
> 
> If you're going to 2019 KiScon in Seattle definitely reach out! I'll be flying over there and I'm really so excited for it!
> 
> My email is thisisakford@gmail.com if you want to chat! Also, I beta if you're interested, and I'm a much better beta/editor than I am writer XD


End file.
